Conscience

Today, has been the second case of chain snatching in my street. The neighbourhood is otherwise not so unlawful. I have memories from days when the street was dangerous only because it was very deserted and days when people liked the peaceful quiet of the place. Recently however, a case of theft, break in or something or the other comes up almost every few weeks. The street still looks perfectly peaceful (and green from above). In fact, these days with lot of people realizing it bridges important areas, it is almost always abuzz with activity. Why, once I found two foreigners representing a Church who tried to convert me in the middle of the road! But to think someone would snatch a chain in broad daylight, in this street, sends quite a shiver. That was months ago. Well planned and a chosen target. 4 bikes, 6 people. I guess they even have a name for this formation. I heard only the story about this one. Today morning was different.

I was still in bed reading the morning paper when I heard screams from the street. I'd usually have run outside to check what was up (the hero that we all are). But the voice sounded like a little girl's so I assumed it was probably a stray dog chasing her or something. Besides there was no other noise of a bike or screech of tyres. But the scream continued for a good ten seconds or so.

By the time I was outside, the girl (probably 15) was sobbing hard and 2 people were consoling her. It still looked like a dog had chased her. As it turns out, it was a chain snatch. A guy on his cycle. Supposedly one of the newspaper delivery boys. Seems like he'd tried snatching her chain first, when she put up a fight, hit her head twice and escaped with his prize. A friend once said conscience is what hurts when every other part feels good. Not always. Mine still hurts that I didn't run outside when I heard the screams. It would've taken all of 3 seconds. If not bash him up like some hero, atleast I'd have scared him off and abandoned his attempts.

To tell the truth I am still shaken by what happened. Imagine, 7 AM in the morning! 'Snatch' makes it sound quite harmless. And only ended up banging my fists on the wall in the shower. What's the point?

If only I hadn't been lazy in the morning. Bloody conscience.
Read more…

Petrol - The Elixir of Life!

Hello people!

This is an IM conversation I had this morning with my friend. It was about petrol. Petrol/diesel has been rather scarce this week in Chennai (atleast). To the extent, our company's buses had to be cancelled. Believe me when I say, there were a lot less of the IT company buses on the road. A lot of crowd at the bunks and all that. We discussed a way to curb that.

Disclaimer: The following conversation happened for fun and either parties had absolutely no intention of going forth with the ideas discussed. Neither is this acting to encourage other parties to take a leaf from it. The participants of the following conversation AND those mentioned in its course, either real or fictional, can NOT be held responsible for the consequences of others' actions following reading this.


Note: Please forgive the occasional use of local english aka tanglish. And in spite of it being for fun, it is a serious issue. Give it a thought.

aks: hiya
aks: good morn...
me: hello
me: good morning
aks: do u have petrol!??!
me: yes :D
aks: i dont :(
me: for another week easily..
me: hmm
aks: waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
aks: i do not have!!!!
aks: gimme some?!?!?
me: why didn't you fill before hand?
me: sure i will..
aks: cos i usually fill on monday evening
me: whatever..
me: you want some?
aks: i really do da...
aks: i don think i'll have petrol to go back home itself...
aks: last shot i'll leave at 4 today and see if they give petrol
aks: illati i'll cal u only :D
me: okk
me: i can spare you some at Rs.100/ltr
me: fair enough ?
aks: excuse me?!?!
aks: konjam overa ille?!?!?
aks: too much!!!
aks: help panuvenu paatha
me: i AM helping
me: do you know how many lorries/trucks/vans/bikes are parked on the wrong side near and along an OMR petrol bunk?
me: from mettukuppam to thoraipakkam
aks: wel...
aks: why but?!?!?
me: and there is a longer line (more like a thread of noodle) of people inside the bunk itself
me: all carrying cans
me: the thing is, its not for water..
me: its for petrol
aks: lol....
aks: such is the nelamai....
aks: i had half a mind to come in my sister's cycle...
aks: but then she refused to part wit it :(
me: she's more prudent than you
aks: stupid greedy sister of mine

[I've edited out some part here, which is out of context]

me: how much does an auto cost you?
me: *will
aks: 40 rs :D
me: ok...
me: 50 + something from your 'esteemed' canteen
aks: grrrrr
aks: seri po...
me: see,
aks: come to my office in the evenin...
aks: i shall get u loads from here :)
me: i give you more security than a stranger driving an auto
aks: so how much u gonna charge me for tat sir?!?! :)
me: i told you
me: 50+ food
aks: ada paaaavi
aks: 50 rs...
aks: plus food ah?!??!
aks: grrrrrrr
aks: even an auto wont fleece me so much!!!
me: secutiry
me: *security..
me: i'll talk in the language you're most comfortable
me: i come to meet you
aks: lol...
me: its safe to tell me your address
me: (ok that's part of sec)
aks: u already know my address u goof!!
me: precisely
me: you see how much petrol can do?
me: it is more or less like M$...you put it everywhere and now you can't live w/o it
aks: grrrrr
aks: i wish i put it everywhere other than my tank...
me: but that's what you did!
me: all the petrol went out through the exhaust pipe in the name of fun!
me: i wonder if i should become a petrol mafia!
aks: pls do... then i think i should be the police to kill u :D
me: do you realize the police need petrol/diesel too?
aks: i'll fly and cum to catch u :)
me: remember the dialogue from Indian? the RTO scene:
me: stop being an underage
aks: wit a frame ilk mine u can afford to do tat u know :)
aks: poda!
me: chandru (kamal): inga parthiya? asst commissioner thu...avare enga kitta thaan license vangararu...
me: tell you something
me: i think you'll be useful
aks: sollu....
me: why don't you join me in becoming (perhaps) the world's first petrol mafia?
aks: he he he he he... i like this idea!!!
aks: sure...
aks: wats the proper deal?!?!
aks: :)
me: 50-50
aks: done..
aks: wat am i supp to do??!?!?
aks: do i get OT handle guns?!?! :D
aks: i love shooting ppl...
aks: dishooom :)
me: [you get the one they have at the beach]
me: oh yes..of course you do
aks: phine!!!!
aks: but i'll use real bullets...
aks: wat else do w have to do?!?!? :D
me: find me sources of petrol
me: we'll employ the unemployed/dis-employed to run errands
aks: hmmmm
aks: wait...
me: exchange money (they won't know its money)
aks: find sources of petrol ah?!?1
me: get petrol from our sources
me: yes..
me: you can't justdial.com it!
aks: how?!?!
aks: damn!!!
me: that's were your skills come into play
aks: not tat easy i can see...
aks: ahem.... yes yes...
aks: so i use my skills and find petrol...
aks: olrite...
aks: then?!?!
me: then what?
me: as we grow, we need to delegate our work a bit..
aks: hmmm
aks: findin ppl wont be tough...
me: we pay enough to keep the police mum..
aks: esp when we can find petrol itself :)
me: yes, they'll probably come to us
aks: her do we get the money for tat in the beginning?!?
me: and mind you, we two have to be the ONLY people who know everything about the whole org
me: you work in world bank..
me: get transferred to accounts dept!
aks: secret keeping?!?!?
aks: so?!?!
me: yes..the rest only know what they're upto
aks: and?!?!
aks: siphon off funds from there?!?!?
me: more or less..
me: we'll discuss that offline..chat ain't safe!
aks: defi mafia only very soon...
aks: ah... for tat u should cum to my office..
aks: we shall discuss over masala dosa :)
me: no
me: somewhere more secluded
aks: urm.... like her?!?!?
me: will tell that when i call from a ELCRODAT encrypted phone
aks: i also wan tat phone!!!
me: we'll have that soon..
me: in fact all our phones need to be that...
me: remember the three blind Israeli brothers?
me: we'll need to use them too soon..
aks: sexy...
aks: hey..
aks: we can dig out Israel too...
aks: maybe they have sources of hidden resources for petrol
me: hmmm
me: i think australia has a big resource and they aren't tapping it till the world runs out
me: imagine the price of crude oil then!
aks: so we'll attack them first?!?
me: not attack..
me: enter into a deal with the oil barons there..
me: we'll need to kajafy them beforehand..
me: we'll need to go big on resources once the demand goes up
aks: oooh...
aks: u do tat talkin...
aks: i'll do the gun holding :)
me: behind whose back?
me: mine?
aks: yes of course....
aks: to shoot the gun in front of u da...
aks: ithu kude theriyathu
aks: seen films no?!?!
me: yes, how your right arm becomes a traitor
aks: ille da makku...
aks: when u talking to someone i'll whip out the gun from behind and shoot him if he tries to attack u?!?!
aks: appadi...
aks: thapu thappa yosikare paathiya...
me: just being careful
me: ok, that's it then?
me: when do we start the works?
me: or should we discuss it offline?
aks: ah.. tat is ah?!?!? all decided?!?!
aks: offline offline...
me: yep..
aks: u don believe me but you'll believe ppl who frisk the net?!?1
me: the chat on petrol mafia is hence close
aks: wogay :)
me: i do believe you..
aks: yaaaaay am all excited... :)
me: am using a secure SSL 1024-bit connection
aks: urm....
aks: i believe u too...
me: by the time they decode it (w/o the key) it'll be the next day of Brahma
aks: [watever tat is]

me: ok,
me: am going to blog this chat!

aks: lol...
aks: am waitin to read it...

me: lets share with the world this silly chat!

I sincerely hope all this doesn't (have to) happen. Is there absolutely nothing left to be done to check the price of oil? Its is not that I do not understand the petrol companies' need to recover losses and the governments' too. But yet, it is the (new) elixir of life.


~LVS
Read more…

False fueling

This post follows after I read a mail on petrol bunk frauds in B'lore. Courtesy Anu.

I almost always fill petrol from the same bunk. They follow a 50-150 tactics here. Wonder what I'm talking about? If you've ever been cheated while filling petrol at a bunk, you'd know. Or wait, you'll have to realise that you've been tricked.

Drive into a petrol bunk. Appear careless. Ask to fill for Rs.200. Chances are s/he'll enter 50 at the meter and make you believe you weren't clear when you spoke '200'. You'll find another 150 (200-50 right?) entered into the keypad. Fair enough? You wish. What actually happens is, the 150 ain't additional as you assume. Its the overall amount to be filled (wonder who designed it that way). So 150 is actually 150 starting at 50 => 100.

You've paid Rs.200/- for Rs.150/- worth of petrol. Done deal. Bye bye. A similar dupe can be made out of happy-sitting-inside-car-enjoying-AC you for any amount. Here is an account of how I dealt with it once.

I know the manager there personally, so brought him out to the operator and gave a good sounding. Actually, he produced bills generated by the pump itself; which showed bills for 50 + 150. The manager said, if the bill reads it then you can't have been cheated. But I know my bike's fuel gauge well and it doesn't lie. Yet, out of respect for the gentleman I left. But they trick you here too, after returning home, I took a closer look at the bill. It had timestamps. Rs.150/- was billed before the Rs.50 one. So the bill was right, only I was given the wrong bill. Another lesson learnt for fifty bucks!

There is no point writing letters to the govt., making noises about Consumer Rights etc. Its your money, get out and do the following.

• If you're in a car, get down.
• If you have a cellphone, don't use it
• Don't pay before fueling your vehicle.
• If you have to, better give the exact amount. 2 100 notes can't be seen as a 50.
• If you're paying by card, get it swiped beforehand.
  
• Don't take your eyes off the meter.
• Do not pay heed to their hints at how nice your bike is, how much mileage you get, your tyres need air etc.
• Don't check for 0s. Check for 8's instead!
• Have sense. Don't be scared to question if you have a doubt.
• Spread awareness instead of complaining.
  

Are you aware of any other similar tricks? Do comment about it.

Adieu. Happy fueling!


~LVS
Read more…

A trip down the IT high(and low) way...

Blogspot to me : Welcome back!
Me to readers: Welcome back!

With that I announce my return to the bloggers' world after a 3 month hiatus.

Brief, that's what life is. My friend would have made it more pronounced for me.
Two weeks back, around the time I leave from office. It was drizzling slightly. And with the new IT highway under construction, you can imagine how the road condition is. (If you can't imagine, see).

Buses from various companies trying to move, people climbing the half-elevated road to get to the other side for god-knows-what, some waiting for the bus - you know how it is. I figured the buses will take time to leave. Since I had an important appointment, I chose to hitch a ride with my friend/colleague Seetharaman. There was my mistake. Or ticket to an unforeseen adventure, I should say. I could've been as bad as I would've never made it to the appointment, leave alone being late.

The picture is not so very apt. The traffic was worse and it was after dark. And now when I look closely at the road, we seemed to have driven over more stones than I had imagined. During the ride-I'll-never-forget, I never once looked back. Am sure I'd had visions of buses and cars coming down at me like hungry lions at their prey. I often hallucinate those earth movers (diggers) accidentally striking unsuspecting bikers. Pretty scary, yes. Believe me, fear becomes accentuated when you're a pillion rider!!

It was amazing. Amazing how either of us (esp. me) wasn't/weren't thrown off the bike. No. I am not commending on my friend's driving skills. Sheer luck! Or it was because I was literally clinging to the bike with all 4 limbs (When I say or, I mean OR not XOR. For instance, "I'll have a burger or a sandwich" where the speaker will have either one but not both, owing to lack of hunger or money or whatever. This is or as in XOR). Slippery road, strewn stones, mad traffic, he drove oblivious to all. I think he actually forgot he's driving a bike that too with pillion rider. Did he think he was on a gaming console?

After a few minutes of roadrash and much protesting from my side, he turns back talks to me. "I'm driving after a long time da, that's why am excited...I usually drive carefully". Whilst he does this, we're moving at more than 50 Km/h, on a wet road, and some buffaloes crossing the road a few metres away!! He braked hard (he also used his feet, he claims) , skid a few feet, but doesn't want to stop! A buffalo. Nothing is more indicative of the God of Death (Yama/Yamraj). Ok, lets not talk much about that. Phew, we crossed them safely...

On we went, without slowing down once, further north. Down the IT highway where the roads were better. The traffic thinned, the road was dry, yet the driver didn't increase the speed. In fact, though he'd deny it, he was 5-10 Km/h slower than what we were doing on worser roads. Guess the adrenaline ran out of him. Not that I'm complaining, but it does seem odd to me. He could've easily saved his excitement for this road! Perhaps he wanted to scare me, or just a silly show off...

Well of course, I reached my destination with everything I own intact. Thanks for the lift Seetha!

I don't know if this compilation of words does enough justice the "wonderful" ride I had. Why don't you ask him for one?

And..err...that's it. EOP. Don't know how else to end it. Maybe I should have not included this line at all. Aaahh...chuck it..thanks for your comments..bye! :)

~LVS
Read more…